.- I will never forget the day my daughter, Dana, opened my eyes to what the world generally believes about Christians. When Dana visited Kosovo for a missions project during college, she and other believers on the trip were instructed not to identify as Christians. Instead, they referred to themselves as followers of Christ.
“In some countries, the term Christian is synonymous with American and carries negative connotations: it says more about political beliefs and excesses than personal values,” Dana told me. “The term follower of Christ describes a person and a lifestyle.”
Hearing that, I was condemned through the years for making sure that my life resembles a follower of Christ, and that I follow a person, not the rules and expectations of a political association, a religious denomination, or a long tradition. So, in an attempt to share my convictions, let me give you this list that I have discovered about the 10 things that women who follow Christ should not do, so that we are not living the negative stereotypes of others.
1.-IGNORING THE NEEDS OF OTHERS
Here in America it’s easy to get comfortable and live in excess even though people are suffering all around us, whether they’re across town or around the world. In James 2:15-17, we are warned not to be just talk without action: “Suppose a brother or sister has no clothes or daily food. If one of you says to them, ‘Go in peace; keep yourself warm and well fed, ‘but you don’t do anything about your physical needs, what’s the use? In the same way, faith itself, if not accompanied by action, is dead.
Also, when a rich man asked Jesus what he should do to obtain eternal life, Jesus told him to obey God’s laws, including “love your neighbor as yourself.” When this man claimed to abide by all these laws, Jesus challenged that love and said, “If you want to be complete, go and sell your possessions and give them to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me” (Matthew 9:21). It is quite a difficult request, few of us (myself included) could follow it. But to be a follower of Christ, we have to be willing to lose everything to get it.
2.-PRIORIZE YOUR POSSESSIONS OVER PEOPLE
Jesus warned us about the allure of material possessions and how they could interfere with our priorities. He wanted his followers to be investing in his eternal home, not amassing great collections here on earth to keep for themselves.
In Matthew 6:19-20, Jesus said, “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But lay up treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not mine or steal.” A follower of Christ invests in kingdom work, eternal priorities, and things that will outlast this earth, like souls instead of things. For you and me, that means if all of our investments are on this side of the sky and our homes are so nice that we don’t want anyone dirty or smelly sitting on our new couch, or can’t bear to get dirty to help someone, we are not living, and thinking, as a follower of Christ.
3.-WORRY AND STRESS ABOUT THE UNKNOWN
Have you ever seen a much-loved child worry about his next meal, or his physical protection, or his future stability? Jesus wanted his followers to be sure of his love and to be like children who have no worries because they know they are loved and protected. However, women are experts at worrying about the unknown. Even Christian women.
Jesus said, “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or on your body, what will you wear… Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store in barns, and yet their heavenly Father feeds them. Aren’t you much more valuable than them? “(Matthew 6: 25-26). When you stress and worry, you are telling others that you have no one to act on your behalf, no one to help you through your trial, and no one who can move mountains to get through for you. When you exercise faith and trust in a sovereign God who can handle the details of your life, you are living as a follower of Christ.
4.-OBSESSIONATE WITH ANYTHING THAT IS NOT CHRIST
Okay, I’m guilty. Over the years I have become obsessed with makeup, skin care products, my weight, exercise, pink clothes, cute shoes, Cinderella dolls, should I go on? I have run after many things, while attending my bible studies and being a good Christian girl. It was not until the last few decades that I had to take seriously the words of Christ: “Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; he who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me” (Matthew 10:37). If we are not supposed to love our own family more than God, we are not supposed to obsess over things or activities either.
Women are experts at obsessing. We can become obsessed with cleanliness, cleanliness, avoiding germs, our appearance, our homes, our husbands, or our children. Whatever we pour into our hearts, whatever occupies our thoughts and desires, whatever becomes a priority in our lives more than loving God, is something we obsess over. This is also considered infidelity because putting anything (food, causes, friendships, romantic relationships, fiancée or husband, children, job, career, success) higher than God on our wish list makes that thing (or person) a god. that we seek. God is a jealous God. He hates when we run to something or become obsessed or seek something above Him (Matthew 6:33). A follower of Christ is just that, someone who follows Christ, not anything or anyone else.
5.- REFUSE TO FORGIVE SOMEONE
Over the years, I have received emails from Christian women telling me the circumstances of their pain or betrayal and asking for justification for not forgiving. I can’t find it anywhere in the Word of God and certainly not in the words of Jesus.
Christ said that the world would know his followers by his love. And the greatest evidence of love is forgiveness, even when we feel mistreated, betrayed and taken advantage of. Even when someone doesn’t specifically ask for our forgiveness or show remorse. Even when we don’t feel like they deserve our forgiveness. In Matthew 6, Jesus taught us to pray “and forgive us our debts, as we also forgive our debtors” (verse 12). True followers of Christ realize that they are personally unworthy of Christ’s forgiveness, but because they are so grateful for it, they freely extend the same forgiveness to others. The followers of Christ forgive, without exception, as they have been forgiven.
6.-GOSSET ABOUT OTHERS
Happens. Gossip about others in the form of “sharing a prayer request” or expressing concern about someone else’s “fall from grace.” But if a follower of Christ is burdened by the sins and frustrations of others and lifts them up in prayer, this will set him free. Scripture says, “Let no idle talk come out of your mouth, but only what is helpful to build up others according to their needs, to benefit those who listen” (Ephesians 4:29).
Jesus said that the second greatest commandment, along with loving God with all your heart, soul, and mind, was to “Love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:39). Love does not gossip. The reputation of another is not exhausted. Instead, “always protect” (1 Corinthians 13:7, NIV). A follower of Christ says words that Jesus would do. And Jesus did not gossip.
7.-JUDGE NON-BELIEVERS FOR NOT ACTING LIKE BELIEVERS
I was guilty of this right after I got married. Fortunately, I married a man who was studying for the pastorate and who quickly helped me. “Why expect an unbeliever to act like a believer?” Hugh asked me. “When someone is separated from Christ, he is under the bondage of sin.” Our job is to make sure we live under the dominion of Jesus Christ.” He then shared with me Romans 6:20-22: “When you were slaves to sin, you were free from the control of justice…But now you have been set free from sin…the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life ».
A follower of Christ does not point fingers at sinners and judge them. He recognizes that Christ will judge them and prays that their eyes will be opened and their hearts given over to a new teacher, the Lord Jesus Christ.
8. EXPECT OTHER CHRISTIANS TO LIVE BY YOUR CONVICTIONS
My husband is not the only one who points the finger at me when I act unbecoming a follower of Christ. My 25-year-old daughter called me out for “judging” even when I make what I consider to be “verbal remarks” about others. “That’s judging, Mom,” she says. And while it’s annoying to hear her say that, 98% of the time she’s right.
Just because I have personal convictions that prevent me from going to certain places, drinking certain substances, and succumbing to certain fads, does not mean that others are wrong, or less Christian, exercising their freedoms in Christ and choosing to do things differently than me. . . The apostle Paul told Christ’s followers in Galatians 5:1, “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and don’t let yourself be weighed down by the yoke of slavery (a set of laws you think you must follow to earn God’s approval).”
If you were raised in Sunday School like I was, it’s hard to kick it as an adult. But Christ showed grace to the sinner, to the new believer who was ignorant, and to the follower whose heart was right before him. The only people Jesus didn’t show grace and patience to were “religious” people who prided themselves on keeping “the rules” and looked down on those they didn’t think were as holy as they were. Oh!
9.-FILL THE SOCIAL MEDIA PLATFORMS WITH YOURSELF
Okay, I know I’m going to step on a few toes here and lest I come across as judgmental and become guilty of number 8 that I just told you NOT to do, please listen to me. Sorry if you see it as healthy self-esteem, but posting selfie after selfie on social media says “I am all about me.” The scriptures say that when we follow Christ, we all turn to him. John the Baptist said “He (Jesus) must increase, but I must decrease” (John 3:30, NIV). For it to decrease, my selfies must also decrease.
Not showing selfie control means that we have not yet understood the truth of Galatians 2:20: “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live…