Growing up, I was raised to dress very conservatively in church. My grandfather was not only a preacher, but we also attended a church that was quite legalistic. I remember, in high school, judging girls whose skirts didn’t extend below their knees. Didn’t they know that wearing skirts that hit just above the knee made them look “available” (for lack of a better word)?
I was absolutely stunned the first time we attended a different church and one of the girls was wearing shorts. This was church! Why wasn’t she dressed in her Sunday best?
Even now, as an adult, I have difficulty dressing for church. I’ve worn jeans a handful of times, when I was heavily pregnant and that was the only thing that would fit, but that’s about it. It’s just habit. I don’t particularly care what someone else is wearing, but I feel weird if I don’t dress at least a little bit.
A few weeks ago, I shared a couple of articles on Facebook like this one on the subject of appropriate church attire, and honestly, I was a little surprised at how stubborn people were on the subject! So I thought I’d better tackle the problem myself.
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Does God care what you wear to church? Well… Yes and No.
Honestly, I think “What is appropriate to wear to church?” It is the wrong question. Not only is the point completely missed, but when it comes to restricting exactly what styles/cuts/settings/lengths are and are not appropriate, they are guaranteed to end up in legalistic chaos. In addition, it does not take into account various circumstances and situations.
For example:
The divorced man who’s finally ready to attend church for the first time in years, but the best thing he owns is a pair of ripped jeans and a wrinkled old T-shirt. Shouldn’t he come?
The party girl who’s fed up with her current lifestyle and ready to make a change, but the best of her wardrobe is still pretty daring. Shouldn’t she come?
The tired mom who barely made it out of the house, who didn’t have the energy for another laundry battle this morning. Shouldn’t she come?
The family that is desperately struggling to make ends meet, but has chosen to faithfully tithe, even if it means going without nice clothes. Shouldn’t they come?
The truth is, wearing nice clothes doesn’t make you a better Christian, or a holier, or any of that nonsense. In fact, wearing nice clothes can even interfere with our ability to be good little Christians when it steals our focus or makes others feel uncomfortable.
I love how Pamela Hodges writes, “When we meet Jesus in the long line to heaven, he doesn’t ask us, ‘Did you wear a pastel Easter dress to church on Sunday? «» In her article, Today was Easter and I almost didn’t go to church. You may be surprised why. How sad to think that people all over the country miss church every Sunday simply because they don’t have the “right” clothes to wear!
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On the other hand, not wearing nice clothes can actually be the loveliest thing to do sometimes, as Amy Reasoner points out in her thought-provoking post, so I’m wearing the same clothes I wore last Easter (and it’s not a dress). ): “That’s when it hit me: Easter is also a Sunday when people who don’t regularly attend church are most likely to set foot in its doors. And I knew right then that if someone came to our church wearing jeans at Easter, I certainly didn’t want them to be the only ones.” And she is a pastor’s wife!
Interesting… “But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his height, because I have rejected him; for God does not see what man sees, for man looks at the outward, but the LORD looks at the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7).
BUT, the truth is that there is a big difference between someone who comes to church in clothes that are not so nice because they don’t have the time, energy or money and someone who comes to church in clothes that are not so nice, nice because they are lazy.
And honestly, don’t most of us fall into that second category more often than we’d like to admit?
We don’t think about getting ready for Sunday (or Saturday night, depending on when we go to church) until it comes, so when it’s time to go to churchwe grab whatever we can find that is reasonably clean and walk out the door.
I know I’ve worn a t-shirt with a stain on more than one occasion because, for some reason, Sunday morning is the ONLY time I remember all my white shirts that go with the oversized skirts I wore when I was pregnant They have stains but the problem has since been fixed.
We dressed up for date night with our husband. We dress up for back-to-school night to meet our children’s teachers. We dress to impress our friends when we have a girls’ night out. But is it too much to ask that we dress up an hour a week to meet with the King of Kings?
Again, it’s not the dress that matters, it’s not, but it just shows where our heart is. When you go to church, do you treat it as something special, something sacred? Or is it just another day? Do you prepare your heart ahead of time, or do you just show up? Do you remember meeting the King of Kings, or is this just another thing on your to-do list? When you get dressed, are you thinking about what will make you look good and draw attention to you, or are you thinking about what is there to see?
THESE are the questions we need to ask ourselves. And when we do, appropriate dress will follow. So personally, I’m going to continue wearing long maxi-skirts with white t-shirts and flip-flops. It’s neat enough to be nice, but not so fancy that it would be uncomfortable or annoying. It is modest and practical (I can walk, kneel, stand, chase after children, etc. without worrying).
And when I see other people wearing things that I might not choose, I’m not going to judge them. I’m just going to think “I’m glad you’re here” and I know God is too. Even if they wear short shorts. Because I don’t know his heart or his circumstances. Only God does.
A devoted Christian, wife and mother, Brittany Ann helps other women grow in these roles as well. When she’s not busy taking care of her growing family, you can find her on Equipping Godly Women, where she regularly shares tips, tricks, and encouragement to help you be the amazing woman God created you to be.
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