STAY OUT OF MY LIFE
STAY OUT OF MY LIFE
On one occasion I heard a young man yell at his father:
Stay out of my life!!!
This phrase struck a chord with me, so much so that I frequently recall it and comment on it in my conferences with parents and children.
If instead of being a priest, you had chosen to be a father of a family, what would you answer to that inquisitive question from my son? This could be my answer:
Son, wait a minute! I’m not the one who gets into your life, you’ve gotten into mine!
Many years ago, thank God, and for the love that Mom and I have for each other, you came into our lives and occupied all our time. Even before she was born, mom felt bad, she couldn’t eat, everything she ate she threw back, and she had to rest. I had to divide myself between the tasks of my work and those of the house to help her. The last few months, before you came home, Mom didn’t sleep and she didn’t let me sleep.
Expenses increased unbelievably, so much so that a large part of ours was spent on you: on a good doctor to take care of Mom and help her have a healthy pregnancy, on medicines, on motherhood, on buying you a whole wardrobe… Mom I didn’t see something of a baby that I didn’t want for you: a crib, a bassinet, everything you could, as long as you were there and had the best possible.
Stay out of my life?
The day you were born has come: you have to buy something to give as a souvenir to those who come to meet you, (said mom), you have to adapt a room for the baby. From the first night we did not sleep. Every three hours, as if you were an alarm clock, you woke us up so we could feed you, other times you felt bad and cried and cried, without us knowing what to do, because we didn’t know what was happening to you and we even cried with you.
Stay out of my life?
You started walking, I don’t know when I had to be more behind “you”, if when you started walking or when you thought you already knew. I could no longer sit still and read the newspaper or watch my favorite team’s game, because I was watching you. You get out of my sight and I had to go after you to prevent you from getting hurt.
Stay out of my life?
I still remember the first day of classes, when I had to call work and say that I couldn’t go, since you at the school gate didn’t want to let go of me and go in. You cried and asked me not to leave. I had to go to school with you, ask the teacher to let me be by your side for a while, that day, in the classroom, so that you could gain confidence. A few weeks later, not only did you no longer ask me not to leave, you even forgot to say goodbye when you ran out of the car to meet your little friends.
Stay out of my life?
You kept growing, you no longer wanted us to take you to your meetings, you asked us to leave you one street before and pick you up one street later, because you’re already “cool.” You didn’t want to get home early, you were annoyed if we set rules for you, we couldn’t make comments about your friends without you turning against us, as if you had known them all your life and we were perfect “strangers” for you.
Stay out of my life?
I know less and less about you from yourself, I know more from what I hear from others. You hardly want to talk to me anymore, you say that I only scold you and everything I do is wrong, or is a reason for you to make fun of me. I ask: With those defects have I been able to give you what you have so far? Mom spends the night awake and by the way she won’t let me sleep telling me that you haven’t arrived and that it’s early in the morning, that your phone is disconnected, that it’s already 3:00 and you haven’t arrived. Until we can finally sleep when you just arrived.
Stay out of my life?
We hardly talk anymore, you don’t tell me your things, you get bored talking to old people who don’t understand today’s world. Now you only look for me when there is something to pay or you need money for college, or going out; or worse yet, I’m looking for you, when I have to call your attention…
Stay out of my life?
But I am sure that before these words, “stay out of my life”, we can respond together. Son, I do not interfere in your life, you have interfered in mine, and I assure you, that from the first day, until today, I do not regret that you have interfered in it and you have changed it forever!
As long as I’m alive, I’ll get into your life, just as you got into mine, to help you, to train you, to love you and to make you a good man!
Only parents who know how to get into their children’s lives manage to make them men and women who succeed in life and are capable of love!
Dads: thank you very much for getting into the lives of your children!. oh! Rather – I correct – for letting their children get into their lives!
And for you, children: value your parents, they are not perfect, but they love you, and all you want is for you to be able to get ahead in life and succeed as good men…!
Life takes many turns, and in less than you can imagine someone will tell you… “Stay out of my life!”
Fatherhood is not a whim or an accident, it is a gift from God, born of love.
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