WORDS OF POPE FRANCIS ON MARRIAGE
Pope Francis received more than 10,000 couples in St. Peter’s Square for Valentine’s Day, encouraging them not to be afraid to say “yes” forever and exhorting them to live forgiveness and gratitude daily in marriage. .
The event, entitled “The Joy of Yes Forever” organized by the Pontifical Council for the Family, began with various testimonies, interspersed with readings and songs dedicated to love. At 12:30, the Holy Father arrived at the Plaza to greet the bride and groom and answer three questions about the fear of yes “forever”; life in common and the way of celebrating marriage.
“It is important to ask ourselves if it is possible to love each other ‘forever’,” the Pope said. Today many people are afraid to make definitive decisions, for life, because it seems impossible… and this mentality leads many who are preparing for marriage to say: ‘We are together as long as love lasts’.. But what do we mean by ‘love’? Just a feeling, a psychophysical condition? Certainly, if so, nothing solid can be built on it.”
But, continued the Holy Father, “if love is a relationship, then it is a reality that grows and we can also say, by way of example, that it is built like a house. And the house is built in company, not alone! They will not want to build it on the sand of feelings that come and go, but on the rock of true love, the love that comes from God. The family is born from this project of love that wants to grow as a house is built: that it be a place of affection, of help, of hope”.
Just as God’s love is stable and forever, the Pope said, “we want the love on which the family is based to be stable as well. We must not allow ourselves to be defeated by the ‘culture of the provisional’. So the fear of ‘forever’ is cured day after day, trusting in the Lord Jesus in a life that becomes a daily spiritual journey, made of steps, of common growth… Because ‘forever’ is not just a matter of duration. A marriage is not only realized if it lasts, its quality is important. Being together and knowing how to love each other forever is the challenge for Christian spouses. In the Our Father we say ‘Give us this day our daily bread’. Spouses can pray like this: ‘Lord, give us today our daily love… teach us to love each other’”.
Responding to the second question, Francisco underlined that “living together is an art, a patient, beautiful and fascinating path that has rules that can be summed up in three words: I can? Thanks, excuse me. ‘Can I?’ It is the kind request to enter someone else’s life with respect and attention. True love is not imposed harshly and aggressively. Saint Francis used to say: ‘Courtesy is the sister of charity, which extinguishes hate and maintains love’ And today, in our families, in our often violent and arrogant world, much courtesy is needed”.
“Thank you. Gratitude is an important feeling. Do we know how to give thanks?: In your relationship now and in your future married life, it is important to keep alive the awareness that the other person is a gift from God… and to God’s gifts.” you say ‘thank you’. It’s not a kind word to use with strangers, to be polite. You have to know how to say thank you to walk together”.
“Sorry. In life we make many mistakes, we make mistakes so many times. All. Hence the need to use this very simple word ‘forgive’. In general, each of us is willing to accuse the other to justify himself. It is an instinct that is at the origin of many disasters. Let’s learn to recognize our mistakes and apologize. This is also how a Christian family grows. We all know that there is no perfect family, nor the perfect husband or wife. We exist, the sinners. Jesus, who knows us well, teaches us a secret: may a day never end without asking for forgiveness… without peace returning home. If we learn to ask for forgiveness and forgive others, the marriage will last, it will go forward.
Lastly, the Holy Father recalled that the celebration of marriage must be “a party, but a Christian party and not a worldly one” and citing as an example the first miracle of Jesus at the wedding in Cain, when he turned water into wine because it had finished said: “What happened at Cain two thousand years ago actually happens at every wedding party. What will make your marriage fully and profoundly true will be the presence of the Lord who reveals himself and bestows his grace on us”.
“At the same time, it is good that your marriage is sober and highlights what is really important. Some are very concerned about the outward signs: the banquet… the suits. These things are important at a party, but only if they indicate the real reason for your joy: God’s blessing on your love. Make the external signs of your ceremony, like the wine of Cain, reveal the presence of the Lord and remind you and all those present of the origin and reason for his joy”.
Advice from the Pope to celebrate a Catholic marriage well
Pope Francis gave a series of tips on how to celebrate a Catholic marriage well and specified that, although it is a party, it should always be Christian and not worldly, where the couple worry about what is truly important so that the exterior always speak of the presence of the Lord.
“Do so that it is a real party, because the Wedding is a party, a Christian party, not a worldly party! The deepest reason for the joy of that day is indicated by the Gospel of John: Do you remember the miracle of the wedding at Cain? At a certain point the wine runs out and the party seems to be ruined. Imagine ending the party drinking t… No, it won’t! Without wine there is no party! At Mara’s suggestion, at that moment Jess reveals himself for the first time and gives a sign: he transforms the water into wine and, with that, saves the wedding party.
What happened in Cain, two thousand years ago, happens in reality at each wedding party: that which makes your marriage full and profoundly true will be the presence of the Lord who reveals himself and bestows his grace. It is his presence that offers the ‘new wine’, and he is the secret of full joy, the one that really warms the heart. It is the presence of Jesus at that party! But make it a beautiful party, but with Jess! Not with the spirit of the world! Nope! That is felt, when the Lord is there!
At the same time, it’s okay for your marriage to be understated and highlight what’s really important. Some are more concerned about the external signs, about the banquet, about the photos, about the clothes, about the flowers… they are important things in a party, but only if they are able to indicate the true reason for your happiness: that blessing of the Lord. about your love
Do so that, like the wine of Cain, the external signs of your celebration reveal the presence of the Lord and remind you and all those present of the origin and reason for your joy.
But there’s something you said that I want to take on the fly, because I don’t want to let it go. Marriage is also an everyday job and I could say an artisan job, a goldsmith job, because the husband has the task of making her wife more of a woman and the woman has the task of making her husband more of a man. her. Grow also in humanity, as a man and as a woman. But this is done between you. This is called growing together.
But this does not come from thin air! The Lord blesses him, but he comes from your hands, from your attitudes, from the way of living, from the way of loving each other. Grow up! Always try to make the other grow. Work for this. And so, I don’t know, I think of you, that one day you will walk down the street of your country and people will say: ‘but look at that, what a beautiful woman!’… ‘She understands herself, with the husband she has!’. And it is this, to get to this: to make us grow together, one to the other. And the children will have this inheritance of having had a father and a mother who have grown up together, making each other more of a man and more of a woman!”
The Pope’s complete response to the first question: Is it possible to love each other forever?
Question: Fear of “forever” Holiness, many today think that pledging fidelity for life is too difficult. Many feel that the challenge of living together forever is beautiful, fascinating, but too demanding, almost impossible. We ask for a word to enlighten us on this.
Answer: I thank you for the question and the testimony. I explain to those present that they have sent me the questions before, you understand, right? So I have been able to reflect and think about such a more solid response.
It is important to ask yourself if it is possible to love each other ‘forever’. This is a question we have to ask ourselves. Is it possible to love each other forever? Today so many people are afraid to make definitive decisions, for life, it seems impossible.
A young man told his bishop: I want to become a priest but only for ten years. It is a general fear, typical of our culture. Making decisions for a lifetime seems impossible.
Today everything changes quickly, nothing lasts long… And this mentality leads many who are preparing for marriage to say: “We are together as long as love lasts”. And then: “I greet you and see you”, and thus ends the marriage. But what do we understand by love? Is it just a feeling, a psychophysical state?
Of course, if it is only this, nothing solid can be built on top of it. On the other hand, if love is a reality that grows, and we can say as an example, how a house is built. It grows and builds itself like a house. And the house is built together and not each one on his own. Building here means promoting growth.
Dear bride and groom, you are preparing to grow together, to build this house, to live together forever. They do not base it on the sand of feelings, which come and go, but instead on the rock of true love, the love that comes from God. The family is born from this project of love that wants to grow, in the same way that a house is built, that is a place of affection, help, hope, support. But everything together: affection, help, hope, support.
Just as God’s love is stable and forever, so we want the love on which the family is founded to be stable and forever. Please, let us not be convinced by the ‘culture of the provisional’. For this culture that invades us all, because this culture does not work!
How to heal from this fear of ‘s forever’? She takes care of herself day by day, entrusting herself to the Lord Jesus in a life that becomes a daily spiritual path, made of steps, small steps, steps of common growth, made up of the effort to become mature men and women in faith. Because, dear bride and groom, ‘forever’ is not only a matter of duration! A marriage is achieved not only by the duration, but also its quality is important.
Being together and knowing how to love each other forever is the challenge for Christian spouses. The miracle of the multiplication of the loaves comes to mind: the Lord can also multiply your love for you and give it fresh and good each day. He has an infinite reserve! He gives you the love that is the foundation of your union and every day renews it, reinforces it. And it makes it even bigger…